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Going Blue

by Victoria Bigelow

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1.
Blame 03:17
WAIT FOR YOU TO MAKE YOUR MOVE YOU STAND THERE AND MAKE A POINT GUESS I REALLY DID IT THIS TIME TOLD YOU EVERYTHING LAST NIGHT GOT DRUNK, FORGOT TO BITE MY TONGUE LIKE USUAL HOW COULD I BLAME YOU I WOULDN’T LOVE ME AT ALL HOW COULD I BLAME YOU YOU JUST BROKE MY HEART THOUGHT THAT I WAS OVER IT BUT OUR DEMONS THEY NEVER QUIT THOUGHT YOU’D KNOW ME BY NOW SPINNING WHILE YOU RUN THE BATH SPEWING WORDS I’LL NEVER GET BACK YOU YELL, “GET YOURSELF CLEANED UP” HOW COULD I BLAME YOU I WOULDN’T LOVE ME AT ALL HOW COULD I BLAME YOU YOU JUST BROKE MY HEART CALL ME OUT, TELL EVERYONE I LOST IT FAULT ME FOR EVERYTHING EXHAUSTING I’M THE ONE, THE REASON YOU’RE PUNCHING WALLS AGAIN CALL ME OUT, TELL EVERYONE I LOST IT FAULT ME FOR EVERYTHING EXHAUSTING I’M THE ONE, THE REASON YOU’RE LYING IN HER BED, AGAIN HOW COULD I BLAME YOU I WOULDN’T LOVE ME AT ALL HOW COULD I BLAME YOU YOU JUST BROKE MY HEART
2.
Low 03:13
YOU SHOWED UP AT MY DOOR RESTLESSLY IN SEARCH OF SOMETHING I CAN’T OFFER YOU PLEAD FOR SOMETHING MORE I’M TOO SCARED TO TELL YOU WHAT I WANT ‘CAUSE WHEN YOU COME AROUND I GO WAY FAR DOWN I SINK EVER DEEPER NOW I GO LOW SOMETHING IN THE WAY THAT I LOVED YOU IN MY DAY AND I’M TOO ASHAMED TO SAY THAT NOW I DON’T AND I DON’T WANNA DIE ALONE NOW TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL I’M WASTED AND I ACTUALLY WANNA HEAR IT I’LL ASSURE YOU THAT IT’S REAL I’M FAR ENOUGH AWAY I MIGHT BELIEVE IT CAUSE WHEN YOU COME AROUND I GO WAY FAR DOWN I SINK EVER DEEPER NOW I GO LOW SOMETHING IN THE WAY THAT I LOVED YOU IN MY DAY AND I’M TOO ASHAMED TO SAY THAT NOW I DON’T AND I DON’T WANNA DIE ALONE I GO WAY FAR DOWN I GO WAY FAR DOWN CAUSE WHEN YOU COME AROUND I GO WAY FAR DOWN I SINK EVER DEEPER NOW I GO LOW SOMETHING IN THE WAY THAT I LOVED YOU IN MY DAY AND I’M TOO ASHAMED TO SAY THAT NOW I DON’T AND I DON’T WANNA DIE ALONE
3.
I bought some cigs at the market by your place I gave up drinking again, it’s been days I need a buzz from something that’s not booze So I’m lighting up and hanging out with you You brought me to your favorite place to eat You pride yourself on your taste and company I threw up in your bathroom upstairs You could hurt me and I doubt that I would care Go on and make me cry I want to feel like dying Make me feel something/anything Make me feel something/anything Go on and make me cry You’ve got someone you can’t get out of your mind She let you down so you’re with me killing time I never really enjoyed it all that much I may fake it but at least I’m getting touched Go on and make me cry I want to feel like dying Make me feel something/anything Make me feel something/anything Go on and make me cry You have no idea I guess You still live inside my chest Searching for a shape like you Going out and getting blue Go on and make me cry I want to feel like dying Make me feel something/anything Make me feel something/anything Go on and make me cry
4.
Sweet Thing 02:29
Everything I love turns into something I don’t like It’s kind of getting stale Getting lonely due to circumstances changing all the time And getting myself there But I don’t wanna watch you go Having trouble with accepting other people I have been Introducing them to you Glorifying fucking up, feigning comfort in my skin Getting tired of that too But I don’t wanna watch you go You sweet, sweet thing You sweet, sweet thing
5.
You don’t know me but you always did You feel me in your room as you close your eyelids It’s funny how we’ve never touched Yet somehow I remember the feeling of... Through space and time What is time if nothing but a space for me to find myself in another? A kind of friend Where there is no beginning, no end I sit quiet in my head and talk to you Sending images and thoughts are they getting through? Nothing’s as it seems, nothing’s real But when you move I’m moved and what you feel I feel Through space and time What is time if nothing but a space for me to find myself in another? A kind of friend Where there is no beginning, no end
6.

credits

released December 18, 2020

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Victoria Bigelow Nashville, Tennessee

Just a girl and some songs

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